Con is for Confidence

 

When I was a kid one of my favorite books was a tired old copy of O'Henry's short stories.  Story after story of con men and the schemes they pulled.  I should have brought it on the plane for a refresher.

 

Yesterday I was in a park across from Mumbai University watching cricket when I was approached by a man asking "Hello, where are you from?"  This was moments after three kids offered to sell me hash so, my guard up, I said U.K.  "Oh, I know U.K., we have many visitors here from U.K.  I am with the tourist office, you know the tourist office?"

 

He introduced himself as Ronnie.  He was wearing an open warmup jacket, a tee shirt with a sports team on it, and rough blue pants; not the uniform of a tourist office representative but his manner was so warm that I went along with it.  At heart I'm still just a midwestern rube from Michigan.

 

Ronnie began schooling me on all the things I should watch out for.  "Don't take any food or drink from anyone.  Don't let them touch you.  Be careful they don't snatch your things and run.  They will ask if you need them to take your picture, then they will run with your camera."   Also, "you should take a trip out of Mumbai.  Perhaps Goa.  You need to see more of India.  If you come to desk 28 I can help you book tickets for a day trip."  

 

"Ronnie, what are you doing today?  Is this your day off, why aren't you in your office now?"  "Oh, sir, I'm doing what we call field work today.  I walk around looking after India's guests.  You are a guest of India, God bless you." And then before I could stop him he patted me on the head for emphasis.  

 

I made a portrait of him and while I was doing that he kept shooing the snatch and grab guys away from me and my gear.  They would lean in close and start looking eagerly at my gear making me happy I had everything tied in with clips.  Meanwhile he went on "I am a school teacher in Goa.  I teach English and The Accounts.  I come here for three months each year to work in tourism.  But also, in Goa, I work for an NGO.  Right now we are working with a girl who has luekemia.  She is only this high and lives on the street, on a footpath."

 

Portrait complete, and the outline of the scam coming more clearly into focus, I decide it's time to go.  "Sir, perhaps I can  accompany you for a while, help you see the things in Mumbai."  I decline and he continues "Ok sir, it was nice to meet you and God Bless you (again the palm on the head while I'm packing my things), perhaps you would like to give a small donation for the girl I told you about.  I am highly credentialed."  I tell him I'll stop by the office later and make a donation, I don't want to do it here because it will attract all the people who want to scam me.  "Oh, of course sir, good thinking.  What time will you be there (so he can make sure he intercepts me out front).  I have no idea I tell him, thank him for all of his good advice, and take my leave.  He looks crestfallen but never breaks character.  He would have fit right into 'Henry's panthenon.

 

Earlier the same day a guy "on his day off from the flower shop" offered to show me around.  "You won't even have to pay me one Rupee."  An hour later I see him selling flowers and ask him "How was your day off?"  He smiles, but a genuine smile, not the smile of the just busted.

 

When I first arrive I got the "I'm a shoe shine boy, but all I have is this bag.  If only you buy me a shoe shine box then people will think I'm real shoe shine boy and I will make many Rupees.  Give me your address and I'll send you the money when I make your money back..."  I thought, what the hell, I'm never going to see this kid again (I read about this exact scam in my guide book) but I gave him $5 anyway.  I knew it wouldn't be spent on a box but whatever.  I told him "come back tomorrow with your box and I'll make your picture with it."  Naturally I haven't seen him again.  I have a rube's heart but I'm not so dumb.

 

In Mumbai I am learning that geography factors into the question of trust and confidence.  Near the tourist centers downtown the probability of confidence equaling con are much higher.  Away from there in areas where the tourists less frequently venture, things get much better.  People will still ask for money occasionally, but if they say hello and start to make conversation odds are better that they are simply expressing friendly hospitality.  The problem then is figuring out how to politely reciprocate their kindness of a cup of tea or whatever.  I have offered to buy people a cup of tea but they will hear nothing of it, "you are our guest here!"